Vito hit the Send button with a heavy heart. He wasn’t happy with the email at all. But he’d reread it a dozen times, and still couldn’t come up with a better way of expressing himself. He closed his eyes. It just wasn’t meant to be.
I know what you’re probably thinking, that I’m a wimp telling you this over email – and you might be right – but this was the only way I could make sure I actually say everything I need to say. So please hear me out. Though if you don’t, I wouldn’t blame you.
I’m guessing you’ve already figured out what this is about. I’m not coming back to Windenburg. I can’t believe I’m actually saying this. Letting you down. Once again. You’re probably used to it by now.
You know that talk we had, about being selfish? How I thought moving to Windenburg for you was the more selfless way, and you said ditching the legacy was more selfish? Well, I kind of get it now. Except neither of those things even matters anymore.
I now get more of what the selflessness deal is all about, I think. It’s not about picking whichever option seems like the less selfish one. It’s about doing the actual right thing. Even if it means sacrificing something you actually want more than anything else in the world. And that something is being with you.
I really wish there was another way. But this time, it’s different. And you’re probably thinking that I’ve given you that line before. Honestly, I wouldn’t buy this if it were me either. But all I can say is that in any other situation, I would go back to you and never look back.
Ok, I’ve been going on for ages and still haven’t gotten to the point. This is hard. So I’ll just say it.
I have a son.
Yeah, it’s crazy. I had no clue until just a few days ago. It’s still surreal. I ran into Alyssa (yeah, that Alyssa), and well turns out that my experimenting was even more stupid than I’d realised.
That came out wrong. Makes it sound like I don’t want Aslan to exist. That’s not true, obviously. But the whole thing about an accident turned best thing that’s ever happened to you… yeah, I still don’t get that.
Wow, I sound like a plumhole. Aslan is a cute kid. Smart, from what I can tell, and I’ve seen some of his drawings and they were pretty good for his age. I wonder how he’d be with a camera. He said it didn’t interest him, but he’s never tried and as an artistic little guy, I bet he’d warm up to it. I wish somebody had introduced me to photography when I was his age.
He’s kinda snarky too, like he’ll take no plum. Especially not from me. I don’t think he likes me at all. Not that we’ve spent too much time together so far.
But I have tried. And I will keep trying. I’ve been out of his life for way too long.
So I’ll be a father, or attempt to be, even though I have no clue what I’m doing, know nothing about children, and the kid seems more annoyed with me being there all of the sudden more than anything else. But I’ll stick around no matter how many evil glares he gives me. Because that’s the right thing.
Which is my point. I’m not just randomly gloating about a kid I barely know and that I’ve had zero impact on so far anyway. I’m just trying to explain that there is no other way. I can’t leave Newcrest now, with him in the picture, as much as I want to. Not even for you. I guess in a weird way, I’ve ended up continuing the legacy after all.
If you’ve gotten to this point and haven’t moved this email to junk after reading the first couple of sentences… I hope you can find a way to forgive me, but I’ll understand if you won’t. Know that I’d give anything to be able to hold you in my arms again. But this is out of my control.
Acting selfless sucks.
I still love you.