Chapter 57: Shallow Waters

Micah stomped through the portal into the magic realm. He wondered if he’d ever felt this out of control. When he left Cordelia’s house, he was filled with despair. The way she looked at him, the pain in her lovely face. Her words rung in his head.

That’s not fair. Why would it all my fault?

But despair quickly turned into anger. At Morgyn… and at himself.

None of it was her fault, obviously. He hated that he made her feel that way. Like she was to blame for any of this mess. She was right. If he hadn’t agreed to Morgyn’s insane proposition, none of this would have happened.

It was his own goddamn calculating. Always trying to get a step ahead of the sage. Micah had been so sure Cordelia would never say yes. If he appeared to comply, show goodwill, Morgyn would be in his debt, without Micah actually needing to give them anything at all. Tipping the balance in his court again, so to speak. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

But now Cordelia had fallen victim to this never-ending power play between him and Morgyn. Of course there was no chance she would actually get pregnant, no way in hell could a dead man produce life. But to have her fall for him?

It was bad enough his own feelings had been tampered with, but the matter of fact was he’d been all over the place for the last year. He could handle it. After all, he was a vampire, and vampires barely had any emotions at all. But Cordelia was too… everything. She deserved so much more than this. Didn’t matter if that was the spell taking over him, Micah knew that much was true.

The worst part of it all was that he had enjoyed the twisted game him and Morgyn played. Always trying to get more leverage, to be the one with the upper hand in this relationship… It got so addictive. But why? Arguably, the times when they both put all of that aside, however rare and brief, were the best ones he’d had with the sage. What was wrong with him?

It didn’t matter. Just one more reason this whole thing had to go away. He could not let Cordelia suffer any more because of him.

He entered Morgyn’s room without knocking, though the sage didn’t seem phased, taking their time to apply their lip gloss.

“Welcome back.” Morgyn greeted him with a crooked grin once they were finished.

Did they just find all of it amusing, Micah wondered? Definitely seemed like one big joke…

“Why would you do this?” He lashed out before he could stop himself.

“I told you my intent. You agreed.” Morgyn reminded him, their voice infuriatingly calm.

“Not to this! Not to emotions being manipulated! Mine and hers. I would have never agreed if you told me what exactly it would involve!”

Pull it together, damn it, the vampire scolded himself.

Morgyn closed the lid on the lip gloss, placing it back onto its tray before turning back to him.

“Don’t be so dramatic, Micah. The love spell is a bonus. Are you telling me you shared a house with her, got to know her, and never wondered?”

This was a lost cause. Micah decided to get straight to the point. “The love spell, can you undo it?

Morgyn tilted their head slightly. “Would you really want me to? She is quite lovely.”

“She is, I’m not.” Micah said. “The last thing Cordelia needs is a vampire and a murderer to love. Can you undo it?”

“You should really give yourself some credit, Micah, you’re much more than that.” Morgyn replied. They sighed, growing more serious.

“It can’t be undone, per say. But I know for a fact that the one it has been cast on can break it.”

Break it. Didn’t seem quite the same as making it disappear altogether, but better than nothing, Micah thought. But if it had to be done by the person the spell was cast on rather that the caster, was that even possible?

“How? Neither of us is a spellcaster.” He pointed out, trying to calm down.

The sage stood up. “It’s not easy, but it’s not laborious. Doesn’t even require magic. After all, people fall out of love all the time. It’s merely a matter of willpower. The choice is yours.”

Micah’s efforts to regain some level of cool flew out of the window with that statement.

“The choice… this is madness! Whatever happened to the talk we had in the ruins? You said you choose me.”

“And that still stands.” The spellcaster nodded. “You wanted me to choose, I did. This is nothing to do with me. I’m certainly not going to ask you to choose.”

“Of course not. Because I don’t have a choice over anything, do I?” Micah spouted. “Including the way I feel!”

Perhaps today, he would not hold out on the sage after all.

“Funny that.” He snapped at Morgyn. “Having a choice was the one thing you promised me when you asked me to stay in Glimmerbrook. Turns out you’re no different from Verena after all.”

“You had a choice.” The sage countered. “You made the choice to stay. You made the choice to be with me. You made the choice to help me produce a child. And now you have a choice about whether you want to break the love spell or not. I promised I wouldn’t tell you what to do. Am I?”

“Yes! Breakable or not, you should have never cast the spell in the first place! If you can’t see that, I don’t know what else to say.”

Could Morgyn even hear him? Micah didn’t feel like yelling anymore. His anger was replaced by something else.

Hurt, the vampire realised. It shouldn’t hurt. His relationship with the sage was just supposed to be a mutually beneficial agreement. Supposed to be.

The irony. Took getting to this moment to finally admit to himself that there were times he’d felt like Morgyn understood him more than anyone in the world could. Only now, when that understanding was shattered into pieces. Or perhaps it had never really been there at all, an illusion.

But a loss of something you never had shouldn’t feel like this, should it? It all left him dumbfounded.

Morgyn’s mood seems to have shifted as well. They finally spoke.

“Perhaps it’s you who needs to see.” Their voice was quiet, sombre. “Tell me Micah, had there been no love spell, do you truly believe falling in love with Cordelia would have been out of the question for you?”

Another place Micah was not ready to go tonight. Or ever. He wished he could just go back to being angry.

“That’s beside the point.” He said sharply.

“Is it, though?” Morgyn asked. “Even I didn’t expect you to pounce on each other like that. Could have bought her dinner, at least.” They added with a smirk.

Micah could feel the irritation bubbling back up again.

“You’re impossible! You were the one who cast the damn spell.” He shook his head.

In a strange way, a part of him was grateful that Morgyn chose to return to snide remarks. He could handle those. Snap back. Perhaps that’s what their bond was based on. A mutual appreciation of shallow waters.

“Infatuate is a love spell, not a sex spell.” The sage elaborated. “I was quite prepared to continue playing the long game. It was the two of you that decided to cut to the chase. Would almost seem as if you’ve been dying for an excuse to do that, don’t you think?”

Was Morgyn trying to provoke him? Micah didn’t know anymore. Too many thoughts in his head. Too many emotions. He had to get out of there.

“I don’t have to listen to this.” He hissed.

“You don’t.” The spellcaster agreed. “That’s precisely the point. You don’t have to do anything. I didn’t give you an order, I gave you an avenue to explore.”

Morgyn paused for a moment, as if they were deliberating whether to add something.

“When you moved to Glimmerbrook, you said I’ll own you.” They said finally. “I’m doing the opposite of owning you. The spell has set you free of me. If you wish to come back, with or without Cordelia, I’m here. But the choice is always yours.”

***

21 thoughts on “Chapter 57: Shallow Waters

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  1. So it really was that! Micah bluffed thinking Cordelia would never agree, then had the rug swept out from under him when she actually did say yes. But he still could have “changed his mind” and said no after that. He is right in thinking that he shares blame here. Gah, Micah and Morgyn together seems to be just as bad for Micah as Cordelia and Morgyn together is for Cordelia.

    *tries to hold back angry rant aimed at Morgyn*
    Nope, can’t do it. Oh, so because they might have cared for each other already, that makes it totally okay to tamper with their emotions and manipulate their free will? Noted, Morgyn. Noted. >=( I’m still baffled by how “manipulating them into the direction that they want them to go, even casting magic to get what they want, and then stepping back and saying “oh but you can do something else if you want! It’s totally up to you!”” counts as giving them free will in Morgyn’s head. 0.o

    Oh geez, that nightmare Cordelia had. Did she kill Dandy? She did, didn’t she? T.T That can’t be good, as much as I loved getting a glimpse of vampire-Cordy.

    Man, if this really does lead to a child, then that kid is getting born into one heck of a dysfunctional family.

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    1. In fairness Morgyn did cast the spell pretty much immediately after Cordelia said yes, so he didn’t really have much of a chance to object there. He could theoretically not have acted on whatever the spell awoke in him, but it’s tricky to judge how easy or difficult that may have been, especially if Morgyn’s claims about any pre-existing feelings between the two are correct. We don’t really know enough about what the spell does or doesn’t do, other than that Morgyn and Micah’s perceptions on it differ.

      But yes, that being said he definitely does share the blame. And I don’t necessarily think it’s because Morgyn “corrupted” him per say. He’s had 13 years of trying to one-up others with Verena’s coven, after all, it’s not necessarily a new behaviour for him.

      Haha yay rant! But yeah, this is the biggest problem – Morgyn does actually believe the vast majority of the things they say.

      Cordelia did kill Dandy in her nightmare. But hey, I have weird dreams all the time… (I enjoyed vampire Cordie too. Ever since someone mentioned her potentially getting turned back when she was in Verena’s lair, I couldn’t get the thought of her as a vampire out of my head. She could suit it, for sure).

      Let’s call it a quirky family, ok? 😀

      Like

  2. Oh boy.

    Okay so
    I knew something was weird when Cordy wore such a low cut blouse XD
    Theory 1: Cordy is pregnant with vamp baby
    Theory 2: Cordy is not pregnant with vamp baby but overthinking at a subconscious level.
    Theory 3: Verena has found Cordy. Hah! (Man I miss her)

    Aw. So it really was Micah scheming. Now he has gone too far, and is getting mad at Morgyn. Have to agree with Morgyn though, Micah agreed to it. He’s got a part to blame. Although Micah’s point is ofc valid too. He probably thought if Cordy agreed they’d head to a room and do it the conventional way.

    Morgyn is so strange. Their point ““Are you telling me you shared a house with her, got to know her, and never wondered?”” seems to imply that they arranged for this to happen from the start. Maybe not the baby part, but certainly the housing them together part and therefore Morgyn would know that they are underhandedly shipping the two together. Why though? Did they really need to test their loves like that or is it something else entirely?

    Morgyn’s answer to breaking the spell being a matter of willpower is strange to me. Love is an emotion, willpower isn’t going to get you any further than logic would. >.> Love being an emotion is arguable, but it has to start from there.

    Can’t Morgyn just say. “Ayyy… I shouldn’t have tampered with your head, but everything else is on you?” xD I feel like this whole argument could’ve been de-escalated like that. Since Micah already blames himself.

    So.. Morgyn thinks Micah is lashing out at him because of guilt, that he feels something for Cordy. But Micah identifies the feeling as hurt, as in he feels played or betrayed.

    I don’t think it’s fair for Morgyn to suddenly question Micah on whether he’d fall in love with Cordy without the spell. And their points after that were all… not points at all lol. And then they justify it by saying they’re setting Micah free… Ah man Morgyn. I’m sure there are PLENTY of other ways to set someone free than infatuating them. Also for the record. Infatuate is a love AND sex spell. Some people can separate the two, some people can’t. But if I start doing this I’ll start going against all their other points too so we’ll just leave it at that lol.

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    1. Ooh, loving the theories! All sound plausible to me… (As for the top, yeah, I doubt she’d actually wear that. Do you ever wear clothes in dreams that you never would IRL? 😀 )

      I like writing scenes like this, because both of them are completely convinced that their truth is the “correct” one. In reality, they may both have some points that are valid, but both are wrong. Haha.

      I will say that I doubt that Micah anticipated it would involve “doing it” with Cordelia at all, even if it did go ahead. He likely assumed it would be more along the lines of artificial insemination (which for the dude is not very involved), and since he’s convinced he can’t possibly be fertile anyway, it wouldn’t have had great consequences in his mind. If it was to go ahead, which he assumed it wouldn’t. But I guess everyone involved did an awful lot of assuming and not a great deal of communicating.

      I think it’s safe to assume that if Morgyn didn’t want their “loves” to interact, they wouldn’t have put them in the same house. But nobody but Morgyn can really know what their further intention with that may have been.

      Morgyn’s take on breaking the spell by willpower can probably tell you a lot about their perception of love. And about how they think, in general.

      Haha, yeah, that would have probably de-escalated the argument. But that would require Morgyn to admit they were out of line, so…

      Oh, there are definitely far better ways of setting someone free, for sure. Even Morgyn probably knows that. They just want to have their cake and eat it too 🙂

      That’s true that love and sex are intertwined for some people. I don’t know if they necessarily are for Micah, considering he did hook up with Morgyn pretty early on and specifically said it means nothing (of course, the validity of that statement is debatable, hah). But yes, of course you’re more likely to want to get intimate with someone if you have feelings for them, especially when they feel the same. I suppose Morgyn’s point here is that you don’t *have to* sleep with someone just because you’re in love with them. Then again, hard to say what being struck by a sudden burst of emotion might feel like/make you do. But I’m rambling, so I’ll shut up 😀

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  3. I’m still wondering if all of this was a dream as this is what Cordelia was wearing when she fell asleep before Morgyn came to visit to offer her some more fudged-up feelings with a free side of stretch marks. Unless she’s just wearing stinky socks, of course. Or had done laundry.

    Was weirdly excited to see Cordelia feast on Dandy. If he’s a goner, I’d rather he be nutrition for a hungry vampire than splatted pointlessly from his treehouse jump. Although if Cordelia did drain Dandy will she be able to get back out of the tree? Does the pure of heart thingy work both ways?

    I’m trying to word this next bit in a way that’s not obscene; I’m wondering if your lore permits that she could be vampire after that exchange of fluids with Micah. This dream might be a premonition kinda thing if so. And up from the gutter we go (marginally).

    Yeah Morgyn, this has nothing to do with your magical meddling, all the fault of your live-in lusty lovers who were also forced together by your hand. Do keep trying to get your head out your bum, darling, before it’s permanently embedded.

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    1. I mean, I have a drawer filled with black socks that are all identical. Maybe Cordelia buys a multipack of socks 😀

      Interesting question. I’m not sure if it could have played out this way if it wasn’t a dream – if she went into Sylvan Glade with the intent to murder Dandy, she’d obviously never get in. So the only way would be for her to go in as “pure of heart” and somehow become “corrupt” while she’s in Sylvan Glade. I don’t know if that could happen so instantaneously. But hypothetically, I guess that depends on whether the pure of heart protective spell is linked specifically to the tree passage, or Sylvan Glade as a whole. If it was the former, I guess in theory she would be trapped, if the latter, I’d imagine the Glade would purge/expel her. Too bad whoever created that spell originally doesn’t seem to be around to tell us…

      Ha! Well, we haven’t really had any clarity on how vampires are made in BC so far, so who knows. I will say that it’s definitely not how Micah became a vampire, because that would be deranged even for my levels.

      Totally just a gentle steer, nothing more 😀

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  4. Well a vampire can have emotions? 🤔
    Micah has a lot of conflicting emotions in play. I can not say that Morgyn’s reasoning surprises me. Their answers are just so typical of Morgyn.
    I’m impressed with how skillfully you hold on to this completely emotionless character. Everything is just reasoning …. or maybe I’m missing Morgyn’s point of view?
    I’m thinking of the trip to the jungle where, after all, Morgyn was in some kind of inner dilemma as to whether or not to seduce Cordelia.

    Cordelia’s nightmare is just awful! Another fear she must carry on her shoulder 😬

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    1. Haha well yes, Micah informs us that vampires barely have any emotions at all and then proceeds to be extremely emotional throughout the whole chapter. They’re all pretty unreliable narrators 🙂

      It’s true that we don’t see things from Morgyn’s POV very often. They definitely don’t display emotions very much, that’s for sure. Whether that means they’re completely emotionless… well, as you’ve pointed out, in their jungle POV chapter that did not necessarily seem to be the case. But we also saw in that chapter that Morgyn perceives having emotions, or at least acting on them, as a sign of weakness. Which may or may not go hand in hand with what they say here about breaking a love spell merely by willpower alone.

      At least it was just a nightmare, unlike everything she already has going on in real life. I’m sure the nightmare is totally not a reflection of what may be happening in her waking time… 😬

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  5. Oof, I didn’t see this chapter until now! I had to fix some technical problems with my computer (my performance is fluctuating badly 😦 ) and I also had to publish my own chapter! So I just read this now! 🙂

    In the previous chapters before Morgyn did the infatuate spell, I was wondering in the back of my mind if Cordelia and Micah felt anything for each other. It didn’t seem like they did. But in the next few chapters, well, we have a ton of people questioning this now: Morgyn, Cordelia, Micah, me, and other readers as well! 😂

    I had a feeling Micah said yes because he thought Cordelia would say no as well, although he would have to realize Cordelia wanted Morgyn to like her, so his thinking was a bit off. :/ And Morgyn, of course, tries to twist everything into something that’s ten times worse than it was before; a complete exaggeration. 😬

    When I looked at the first image of Cordelia, I was like, why is she wearing that top? 🤔 Then when I got to the images of her sucking Dandy dry, my breath caught in my throat! I was thinking, is this for real? This changes the plot entirely! Then I saw the images of Cordelia waking up and I was sort of relieved but also kind of disappointed! 😂

    This is a pretty interesting chapter with a lot of hidden meaning behind it, I bet. I wonder what the nightmare might have meant? Some sort of trauma from when she was back at the vampire house? Or fear of what might happen to her? And fear of being pregnant with a vampire child? If it’s the first one, I wonder if this means Verena has something to do with this? And will she come back, but in a different approach? I hope so, she is a side antagonist after all! 😀

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    1. The chapters aren’t going anywhere, so no rush to read them as soon as they’re out 🙂 I hope you got your IT issues sorted!

      Haha. The reader thoughts were always split on that – though of course that might have just been wishful thinking. Hard to say if there were feelings there pre-spell. Is there a right answer? And does it even matter now? I suppose that’s for Cordelia and Micah to figure out 🙂

      Sure, Micah was well-aware Cordelia was completely besotted with Morgyn, but there’s wanting someone to like you, and there’s agreeing to randomly have a child with someome just to please someone else 😀 He thought it so insane that he couldn’t fathom even anyone lovestruck saying yes.

      Morgyn loves to exaggerate, for sure. Though their statements about Micah’s potential feelings for Cordelia are neutral, I don’t know that Morgyn considers that a good or bad thing. After all, we’ve not exactly seen Morgyn demand exclusivity of their “loves.”

      Haha poor Dandy 😀 Who knows, perhaps it was a premonition and it will become true, if you’ve got appetite for that.

      Interesting! Can Verena affect dreams? She’d probably be disappointed to be called a “side” antagonist 😛 While we’ve not seen a great deal of her so far, she certainly doesn’t believe herself to be a side anything 😆

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      1. I think they might be fixed although I’m not sure, haha, I can’t even play the 64-bit version of the Sims 4 without it crashing (and the system is 64-bit)…

        Perhaps they will fall in love, and they raise their child together (although I can only see that happening if she happens to be pregnant). So I think I want her to be pregnant. XD

        I suppose so, haha, although maybe he could have known her a little bit better? I don’t know, Cordelia is naive since she wasn’t taught anything by her mother after she passed away… That’s just what I think, since she’s just very dependent on Morgyn. 😉

        I’d imagine they think it a good thing, maybe they’re going to throw something else into the picture, since they think there’s a probability of her being pregnant with “their” heir. 😛 They have too many secrets… 😮

        Haha, if it happens to Dandy, I would be a bit sad, since he appeared in the second chapter and was the third important character to appear, although I’d be sober, it is a story after all! XD An intriguing one, though. 🙂 Maybe he can be resurrected if it happens? I don’t know, I’m an optimistic person as you can tell! 😛

        I don’t know, I’d imagine that can be one of her powers, since vampires tend to have telepathic powers and such. 🙂 Because she didn’t appear that often, I don’t think she can rival for Morgyn as the main antagonist. Hahahaha… XD

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      2. Yikes, I hope it gets fixed for you 🤞

        You really are an optimist! Let’s see how we go 😊

        Oh, interesting, you think Morgyn is a bigger threat than Verena? Time will tell, I suppose.

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  6. Okay I read this chapter literally just when you posted, but I needed a moment of peace to write my kitchen sink psychoanalysis 😏 so much going on here!

    This chapter is actually such a great insight into Morgyn’s character.
    What Micah does not take into consideration when he makes his bargain and agrees to Morgyn’s ridiculous proposal, is how psychopathic Morgyn is and how dependant Cory is of Morgyn’s crumbs of approval. Ofc it had to go wrong XD

    So, someone in the comments was wondering how Morgyn does not understand how Micah & Cory would feel manipulated – both could simply decide differently, right?
    It seems like Morgyn is mocking Micah, but in Morgyn’s books that would be true. If he has, as I strongly suspect, a psychopathic disorder (I use “psychopathic” here in a pathological sense, not to brand them as evil or accredit them of malicious intent- just so I’m not misunderstood), they would not be able to be emotionally attached to others, like normal people do, and therefore there is nothing that would hold them back to make a decision only based on facts and in favor of their own best interest. Sure, psychopaths can like others and enjoy their company, but they will never be capable to love others and put their interest and well being before their own.

    Even when Micah had felt that Morgyn may be the person that understood him the most, it is in Morgyn’s best interest. Psychopaths learn quickly to read and imitate emotions they are not capable of, to fit into society and use it for their own benefit. Morgyn gives Micah what he wants the most- being understood, feel valid and feel wanted, and in return he secures Micah’s loyalty and- makes him fall for them.
    Now Micah has realized that Morgyn may never have truly understood him, and that possibly is true.

    Besides that having Morgyn owe him a favor would not play out as Micah thinks anyway, he should have learned that already v.v This was very short thought of him.
    And whenever Morgyn let Micah “win” in their battle, in the end it still benefited Morgyn more than to oppose Micah.

    I also had this funny idea. What if Morgyn casting the “infatuate” spell on both his “loves” was his own way of softening the blow once they decide of dropping them both? 😏 We’ve learned so far that Morgyn has left a trail of broken hearts behind them, many would probably enjoy revenge on them. I wouldn’t be surprised if Morgyn believed he’d do them a favor. Morgyn could get out of an affair he got sick of, but Cory and Micah would not even be mad at them, because they found each other through them! Morgyn could stay friend with both instead of having to burn another bridge, and they should even be grateful to them. Win-win, right? Sound totally like Morgyn-logic.
    Sorry I’m letting my imagination run wild here 😂😂

    Now back to Micah, ‘m wondering if his lack of emotions is rather a symptom of depressions than him being an undead person. I also have the impression with “lack of emotions” it’s rather the inability to be excited about something, or happy, because we can see right here that he is very upset 😏
    And the other vampires seemed to have a very vivid emotional life.

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    1. Ha, I find it fascinating that so many people are compelled to diagnose Morgyn, it was never my intention to write them as having a diagnosable disorder. It’s open to interpretation, though personally I don’t believe Morgyn is a psychopath, for a couple of reasons:

      Psychopaths are incapable of feeling remorse, and we have seen in the childhood flashback that Morgyn definitely did feel remorseful over what happened to their parents, which would suggest they were at the very least capable of remorse at one time. Psychopathy is also typically (though admittedly not without exception) genetic/innate, so that would again conflict with the childhood memory. Just my two cents – though I am not an expert on personality disorders (which is why I don’t try to write them 😆)

      That being said you definitely do bring up some good points about how Morgyn might operate, and your theory seems pretty solid too, though I won’t confirm or deny anything 🙂 I’m impressed you’ve gone so in depth considering how much you hate Morgyn – it would be easy to get too blinded by Morgyn rage to consider how they might be thinking, so I really appreciate that you took the time to do that 🙂

      Haha, well we have no evidence to support Micah’s claim that he feels no emotion, as you point out we have seen him very emotional in a number of chapters. Micah’s inner narratives are strong, but that doesn’t necessarily make them true 😊

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      1. You wrote a very complex character with deviant behaviour, ofc everyone digs out their hearsay psychology knowledge 😁 But only you know who they truly are.

        It is true that Morgyn once showed remorse when they were a child, but the obvious lack of understanding of other people’s feelings suggests that they do have some sort of psychopathic-type of disorder. And, there is research suggesting that it may be learned- who knows? They could have developed it due to the trauma they went through in their childhood.
        Again, only you know how they truly feel and think, and a diagnosis is rather irrelevant and just my mind trying to find patterns in their behaviour xD

        And no, I don’t hate Morgyn per se- they’re a great and very well developed character! I just hate what they’re doing to Cory and Micah. One could argue that those kids let it happen to them, but I’ll always stand by that one should not exploit the weakness of others.

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      2. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s a bad thing – I find it fascinating 🙂

        Well they say that psychopaths are born and sociopaths are made, though of course that’s a generalisation. There’s definitely some behaviour we’ve seen in Morgyn that could suggest some form of ASPD. I was going to go full-blown WebMD on you and list where I think it could fit, and where I think it doesn’t, but decided against it, because the single psychology module I took in uni really doesn’t give me enough authority to make any claims on this 😀 The only disorder I could peg Morgyn for with some level of confidence is narcissistic personality disorder, because, err duh 😀

        But I actually don’t think my opinion necessarily matters that much, sure I know my characters well, but I have my own biases and I didn’t necessarily write this story in a way where my “truth” is the single correct one. Much of the story is actually intended to be ambiguous. And thank you 🙂

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  7. oops now I totes forgot to comment on Cory now 😂

    I admit I didn’t even notice if her cleavage is deeper than usual. Only she’s dressed less Boho than usual lol
    Her dream does not make very much sense to me. Maybe it’s just a typical nonsensical dream the brain makes up to deal with overwhelming recent impressions?
    Clearly having had sex with a vampire did a number on her xD

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    1. Yes, less boho for sure, that is eye for detail! 😀 Somehow boho and menacing vamp didn’t quite go in head, hence the outfit change 🙂

      Yeah, most dreams are nonsensical, and like you say they just help us organise our thoughts and experiences, so it might not necessarily mean anything. I’ve probably had more disturbing dreams than that, and my life is significantly less controversial than hers 😀

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  8. Morgyn is…

    Micah is…

    Cordelia is…

    ::screams loudly::

    Okay, okay, let me just get myself together. This pair of chapters nearly wrecked me. I think the only way I can wrap my head around this is to break it out by character, otherwise, I just keep making incomprehensible noises.

    MICAH

    First of all, yes Micah, thank you for finally owning your role! I didn’t quite realize their dynamic before because I was so distracted by Cordelia, but Micah has his own destructive circle with Morgyn. He isn’t in control! He’s right, this is no different from things with the one true queen, Verena. But I agree with Morgyn here. It’s not because Morgyn is manipulative. They are, of course, but that’s not actually the biggest problem. The biggest problem is that Micah gives himself over to it because it makes this life something that was done to him. He gets to stay the victim and whether he is willing to admit it or not, to him that’s having the upper hand. He feels safest not when he has something to lord over Morgyn, but when Morgyn has hurt him in some way and Micah knows that they’ll need to make it up to him somehow.

    It’s not healthy. AT ALL.

    Okay, I’m going to come back to Micah in a moment, but next up:

    CORDELIA

    First off, you are clearly trying to kill me by giving Cordelia that nightmare. Secondly, I kind of feel like she and Micah are in the same place here with Morgyn, albeit by different means. Micah keeps ending up in this situation by not choosing (which is actually a choice). Cordelia just keeps making the same choice over and over again in hopes that it will produce a different result. (Have you heard of the definition of insanity, Cordelia, dear?). She keeps having these moments of clarity and then as soon as Morgyn opens their mouth she doubts herself and throws it all away.

    Back to Micah. He and Cordelia have their agency taken away. Morgyn is trying to play like this was what they really felt so it doesn’t count, but that’s just a way of Morgyn avoiding responsibility. The truth is, anything they didn’t choose to do with each other in their right mind was forced upon them. They consented to the idea of having a child, not to have a spell cast on them so Morgyn could conduct an experiment. It’s fascinating to explore all these issues of consent, particularly in a relationship where the lines have become so blurry. Like I know I was shipping it, but when I step back and read this chapter I’ve changed my mind. They both need some time on their own to figure themselves out and then if they come back together, fine, But right now, this relationship between them all is just toxic.

    Morgyn, Morgyn, Morgyn. How much of interfering in Cordelia/Micah’s life is about avoiding dealing with themselves?

    Oh man, I wrote you a novel again, but these chapters were just OH SO GOOD.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oooooh!

      Micah – YES. He wants to have the upper hand in the situation, but in a way being in a position where he can say he’s had no control over it is even more appealing, because it eases some of the guilt he’s carrying. Which applies to his life far beyond the current situation with Cordelia; in fairness to Morgyn, this is a carefully cultivated pattern that’s been prevalent in Micah since getting turned into a vampire, and is likely quite reminiscent of his time with the coven. So one might wonder, is it really the relationship with Morgyn the cause of destructive behaviour, or is it the consequence?

      Lol yes, Cordelia should look up the definition of insanity. She’s stuck in a loop, sacrificing a piece of herself each time. Perhaps this time she’s realised that to some degree, too bad it took things getting too far.

      Morgyn is so obsessed with having control over everything they don’t even see they’re taking it away from everyone they supposedly care about. They are very good at rationalising their behaviour.

      Morgyn, Morgyn, Morgyn. How much of interfering in Cordelia/Micah’s life is about avoiding dealing with themselves?

      Whaaaat, Morgyn, trying to avoid dealing with themselves? Shifting their focus elsewhere so that they can claim their own internal issues don’t exist? Issues, what issues? Morgyn is totally in control and can just make any unresolved issues go away, there’s nothing they need to deal with at aaaaall. Ok, I’ll stop now, lol.

      Liked by 1 person

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