1.67 Silence

Cordelia

I thought getting rid of the grandfather clock would help. I didn’t notice its sound from the start; at first, I had my head filled with all kinds of petty hopes and dreams to pay attention, and then later on, the house was never quiet enough to hear it.

It was only once Morgyn started taking Hawthorne over to the magic realm that her toddler babbling, her laugh and the sound of her little feet was replaced by the clock ticking. Mocking me, as if Morgyn placed it there all those years ago for the sole purpose of reminding me they stole my daughter for the day, the time that passed by in her absence. Tick tock.

So I smashed the bloody thing. Probably the last time I used any of my woodworking tools. It never occurred to me the silence would be even worse. Or that Hawthorne would start spending time away from me even without Morgyn, beyond the obvious of her going to school.

We were worried when she started school, but everyone loved her. At first, I took her to all the playdates.

But as she got older, your mum tagging along when you were spending time with your friends was far too uncool. That’s when the silence started creeping in.

At least it meant I didn’t have to go to spellcaster houses anymore. And for the most part, I had my job to keep me busy. It’s ironic, a mere human in charge of all the potion brewing at the Hex Shop. But it’s ideal. I don’t have to talk to any of the customers, and it gives me something to distract me, something to concentrate on – a single stir in the wrong direction or a poorly timed ingredient could derail a potion completely.

Turns out I’m quite good at it, too. The only part I can’t do is adding the actual magic, obviously.

But Emilia found a way to get around that too. She got Ollie to deliver a bag of motes to the shop twice a week. She said having a part time job is good for him.

Works for me. No way in hell would I go to the magic realm to collect them myself. I hate the place almost as much as I hate them.

I don’t know when the love turned to hate. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment. Maybe when Hawthorne was born. All I know is that even thought of Morgyn makes my blood boil.

Sometimes I even catch myself hating Micah. By association, I suppose. I want him to hate Morgyn the way I do, but he doesn’t. Still indulges them, at least from time to time, for some reason. I guess it’s none of my business. Strange. There was a time when I loved them both.

Sometimes I feel like I hate the whole world, apart from Hawthorne. But she’s leaving. Going to the one place I tried to escape from.

Micah is up. Means they will be going soon.

“You can finally leave now.” I tell him once he’s down the stairs.

He stops in his tracks. “What?”

I’m not sure if he’s actually confused or if he’s just being polite. But if he wants me to say it out loud…

“You have no reason to live here once she’s gone.”

Takes him a moment to respond. “Do you want me to leave?”

Do I? I don’t know. I’m used to him here. The house will already feel empty without Hawthorne. Can I really go from her loud presence to being completely alone?

“No.” I tell him.

“Then I’m not going anywhere. This is my home too, you know.”

I guess he doesn’t know what to do with himself either.

“You should probably set off soon.” I change the subject. Best rip the bandaid off quickly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with?” He asks, his tone soft and mellow.

There it is again, that concerned look of his. Can barely stand it.

“I am not going near that village ever again.” I reiterate. Did he not hear me the first time I told him? Is this his newest display of high ground? If he tries to say it would do me good again, I’m going to scream.

“Right.” He sighs. “Where is Hawthorne?”

“Dandelion’s, I think.” I say quietly. That’s where she told me she’d be going anyway, before she locked herself in her room for hours.

“Have you said goodbye to her yet?”

I shake my head. I’m not ready for this.

He lets out another sigh. “I’ll go fetch her.”

Hawthorne comes in soon after. Tries to avoid looking at me. She seems emotional.

For all the tough talk leading up to today, maybe she is sad to be fleeing the nest after all. Makes me feel a little better.

“Are you all packed, sweetie?” I start, trying to keep a brave face.

“Yeah. Besides, whatever I forget, I can just get in Britechester.” She shrugs.

I don’t know what to say. “Don’t forget the plasma fruit juice. There’s a fresh batch in the shed, should last a good while if you keep it in the fridge. And-“

“Mum.” Hawthorne interrupts me. “I’ll be fine. Honest. Don’t worry.”

I nod. I find it so hard to put myself in her shoes, to guess what she might be thinking. When I was her age, I fled the exact place she’s going to. I never even wanted to hear of Gibbs Hill again.

Is she feeling the way I did when I left here? No, she can’t be. God knows Micah and I haven’t been the perfect parents, but she can’t hate it here the same way I hated it there… can she?

She fidgets uncomfortably. “Well, I guess I’ll go.”

I watch her stand up, as if in a dream.

“Wait!” I call after her. I rush to the door. “I want you to have something.”

My hand is trembling as I take my necklace off, placing it in the palm of her hand. Her finger slides over the key.

She looks puzzled. “You never take this thing off.”

“It used to belong to your grandmother.” I explain. “It’s all I really have left to remember her by. But I think it’s time you should have it.”

“Mum…”

“It makes sense for you to take it. After all, you’re moving to your grandmother’s hometown. In a way, you returning with the necklace will be as if a small part of her came home. A full circle.”

 “Thanks, mum.” She hesitates, but she finally puts the necklace around her neck. It suits her. “What was she like? Grandma?”

What was she like? I can barely remember. But I have to say something.

“She was strong. Did everything on her own. There was nothing she couldn’t do.” At least that’s what I thought, when I was little.  “She was beautiful too. Had bright purple eyes.”

That seems to catch her interest. “Like Dandelion?”

“Very much like that, actually. Maybe that’s the reason why I liked Dandy as soon as I met him.” I smile.

“I think Dandy was the reason you liked Dandy as soon as you met him.” Hawthorne lets out a chuckle, but her laughter dies as quickly as it started.

There it is again, that look she had when she came in. “Anyway, I shouldn’t keep dad waiting.” She tells me.

I hug her tightly closing my eyes.

“I love you.” I tell her.

“You too.” She frees herself from my embrace far too quickly.

“Don’t forget the plasma fruit juice!” I call after her. But she’s already through the door.

“Daaad?” She calls out. “Can you come help me with the big suitcase?”

There’s commotion round the house as they lug all of her luggage down the stairs.

And then they’re gone.

Silence. What do I do now?

I decide to go over to Dandelion’s. Seeing as Hawthorne brought him up. I don’t see him as much as I should these days. That time I first met him seems like a lifetime ago.

He seems to be in a strange mood. I guess I can relate.

“Has Hawthorne gone?” He asks.

I nod mechanically. “Her and Micah are on their way to Britechester now.”

He looks at me funny when I sit down on the ground next to him, as if he’s debating what to say. “I saw her earlier.” He tells me. “Something she said… it made me think of Gemma.”

“Why?” I blurt out.

Hawthorne seeing Dandelion before setting off is not surprising. But there’s nothing about her that resembles that awful woman. I never could stand her, and that was before what she did to him…

I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it.

It was one of those summer festivals. Ollie invited Hawthorne to come, those two were inseparable back then. Oh how the times change.

I took Dandelion with me. He wanted to spend time with Hawthorne, but Micah and I were still wary after what happened the summer before. We’d usually only let Hawthorne to see him when we were both there. But she’d been good all year, and this was a public place… besides, I could use the moral support.

Dandy seemed to enjoy himself.

Me… not so much.

Because of course Morgyn just had to be there. And as per usual, Hawthorne was all over them.

Turned out I wasn’t the only one bemused by that.

“I see Morgyn is still playing house with your little make-belief family. How adorable.” Gemma appeared next to me.

It wasn’t like her to speak to me, much less seek me out.

“What do you want, Gemma?”

“Same thing I’ve always wanted.” She said simply, looking towards Hawthorne. Of course, it wasn’t Hawthorne she was looking at.

“Please, be my guest. Morgyn’s all yours.” I told her.

“Was not the case the first time around when you said that, and you know just as well as I do that that’s not the case now.”

What on earth was she talking about? First time around?

“Maybe your little vampire family caught Morgyn’s attention for longer than usual, but they will get bored. They always get bored.” Gemma continued. “And I can patient. I just need to kill time. If I manage to learn the rejuvenate spell, I might even have unlimited time…”

“Good for you.”

What else was I to say? I went to look for Emilia to shake the damn woman. It was too late when I realised how exactly Gemma intended to kill time.

Her voice was sugar-laced poison. “How has no one ever noticed a cute elf like you?”

He was completely taken off guard. “Me?”

“Who else, silly?” I can still hear her fake giggle now.

I tried to warn him. But he didn’t listen.

“Cordie, not everybody’s obsessed with Morgyn, you know.” He told me. “Gemma likes me. She actually likes me!”

But it was me who had to pick up the pieces.

“She… she said she doesn’t have the time to wait for an elf to grow up.”

Of course she even made sure to tell me she was working towards having an indefinite amount of time. But apparently that time was for Morgyn alone. She wrapped Dandelion around her little finger, only to discard him.

I knew she only did it to spite me. And still, I was powerless.

I still feel so angry about it. Maybe anger is the only real emotion I can feel nowadays.

I force my mind back to the present. “I assure you there’s not a single thread of Hawthorne that’s like Gemma Charm in any way.”

“I know that.” He agrees. “But am I? Gemma called me a child, when I didn’t really feel like one anymore. And I said something to Hawthorne… that maybe hurt the same way.”

What in the world is he talking about?

“You called Hawthorne a child? That’s hardly the same. She is one! I’m sure she was a little pouty like she always gets when she thinks we don’t take her seriously, but she’ll forget all about it before tomorrow.”

“Yeah… you’re probably right.” He trails off.

Reminiscing on Gemma Charm was not the kind of distraction I had in mind.  But I suppose it is a distraction nonetheless.

Can’t feel like I’m falling to pieces when I fill myself with rage.

“Cordie, I don’t understand… this whole love thing, the pain it comes with… is it really worth it?”

“No. No, it’s not.”

40 thoughts on “1.67 Silence

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    1. Woah, holy cowplant! That’s a lot to take in in a very short space of time…

      On one hand, you have the advantage of having the chapters in very quick succession so you may notice things and connections that people reading over time may have forgotten about, but on the other hand, that’s one hell of an information overload 😆 Are you feeling ok? Maybe go have a lie down… Oh dear 😆

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  1. Woah Cordy’s thoughts are painful to hear. She’s grown so bitter towards everyone. The only person she’s not resentful towards is Dandy.

    I think it’s sad that she discarded love. Too much invested in one person is no good, which she had in the past. But having none is just as bad. Cordy seems unable to look at the good in life and count her blessings now. She didn’t have the best life, but she didn’t have the worst either. That’s a lot of years lost 😦 I feel so sorry for her. But arguably she’s still young and has a lot of time left. It’s not too late to live.

    Hm..? Is Cordy part elf? That would explain how the sprites hang about her, then Dandy. If she learnt to communicate with them, I wonder what they’ll say. Am also wondering what that key opens to.

    Well.. Gemma. You picked the wrong guy. It’s Micah, girl. Though he’d probably won’t give you the time of day.

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    1. You’re right, she is pretty bitter these days. At least Dandy is excluded from that – though anyone would find it challenging to find a reason to be resentful towards Dandy, I suppose!

      This is true, she does have a lot of good things in her life, but she only focuses on a select few. Yes, hopefully she can still turn it around, though it would probably take a hard push.

      That’s a good theory! The key? I’m sure it’s purely decorative!

      I think Gemma (and the Charms in general) think of Cordelia, Micah and Hawthorne as a package deal. Which in a sense, they are. So messing with Cordelia is enough of a win in Gemma’s eyes – not to mention Dandy’s Micah’s friend too, though I’m not sure if Gemma knows that. Haha yes, I doubt Gemma would fare particularly well if she tried to seduce Micah.

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  2. Adult Cordelia is interesting to see, haha. I suppose time can take its toll on humans. (Vampires and elves still have a long way to go, lol!)

    Her train of thought’s very negative as I can tell. I think she might be jealous of everyone except for Dandy, including her own daughter, as horrible as it may sound. Hawthorne gets to go to uni and have both parents while she had to struggle for a long time. So perhaps she resents this. Micah, Morgyn, Gemma, Emilia etc. have other things that they have that Cordelia doesn’t so she’s probably jealous of them as well.

    The exchange between Hawthorne and Cordelia is sweet, of course. Mother and daughter saying good-bye for the last time. Although Hawthorne is being too brash when it comes to plasma. Telling Hawthorne about Annaliese is a good way to honor her memory, so good for Cordelia when it comes to family, haha. But she’s being too selfless for people’s liking.

    So that’s what happened between Gemma and Dandy. The last chapter I was like, what, but I didn’t pay much attention to it, haha. xD Gemma is horrible, indeed, probably wants to satisfy her own goals. Too selfish in my opinion. And Dandy was too naive to figure this out, sadly. 😦

    For the first time in sixty-seven chapters I noticed Cordelia has amber eyes. 😆 It’s like for the last chapter I noticed Dandy’s lilac eyes clearly after sixty-plus chapters. I’m not very observant, am I? xD I suppose it’s because the certain effects in those pictures slightly discolored the eyes (such as the very last one) and the angles taken. But the second-to-last one is close up, straight and has no effects, so that’s why I was able to see it clearly. 🙂

    Also where did the sprites go? With Annaliese? 😂 Sorry, morbid joke, I know. 😉

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    1. Yes, it’s been 20 years since Cordelia first arrived in Glimmerbrook, so she has aged, and unfortunately for her as you say she does age faster than many of the other characters – some of them don’t even age at all! I think she still looks good, though 🙂

      Definitely rather negative! I don’t know if I’d say jealous, per say, considering she’s basically made Hawthorne her reason for existing, and I doubt she’d want to go to Britechester of all places, but of course she would have wanted to have loving parents and perhaps a university experience way back. Whether she consciously wants those things now, I’m not sure. I’m not sure she still wants much of anything 😦

      Annaliese gets to live on, in a way. I agree, it’s nice for Hawthorne to know about her.

      Gemma is definitely not the nicest person. Lol.

      Haha I guess it means I should do close-ups more often! I think there were quite a few of both Cordie and Dandy in the very early chapters, but it’s easy enough to forget, especially when you’re just meeting the characters 🙂 There’s actually no effects in that last picture – it’s just that the lighting in Sylvan Glade is quite tinted 🙂

      Haha! The sprites are actually right there above Dandy, in the shots where he’s sitting by the water in Sylvan Glade while Cordelia’s chatting to him – along with Hawthorne’s phoenix 🙂

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      1. Haha, yes. I think she looks good, too! 🙂

        Ah, yes, but she does seem to be a little jealous of Hawthorne in a way, since Hawthorne got the childhood she never got to have, but those are just speculations of mine. 😉 Perhaps she might have regret over those things, but perhaps she might want to think about her mother and the sprites? Hopefully we figure out what happened with Annaliese and her cult, lol.

        Ah, I see, the first few chapters did show Cordelia and Dandy with amber and lilac eyes, lol. Annaliese’s lilac eyes weren’t clear, either, haha. Eyecolors are not very easy for me to see, lol, especially the slightly-dull EA ones. xD I even mistake the eyes of my own sims, lol! 😆 Except for the ones with bright, vibrant eyes that have clear difference from other eyecolors (some cc ones), haha! I see that it was the lighting in Sylvan Glade, haha, though I kind of consider that an effect, haha. Game-tinted effect. xD

        Oh, I did not see that, either! I guess I’m not observant at all, then? 😆 I guess I only focus on the main things in pictures and only try to search for things in them if I wanted to consciously do so, haha.

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  3. Oh no! You should have listened to me Cordelia because you have become just as dry and bitter as I had anticipated 😖
    Now I want to bring another quote that has become one of my rules of living …. “Forgiveness is not forgetting but letting go of the pain”
    Cordelia should listen to Micah and she needs to forgive Morgyn (and herself). Instead, she chooses to stay in pain and let the hatred spread to everyone in Morgyn’s universe.
    She has the sweetest caring man right in front of her eyes but even his love she attributes alone to a magic formula. Therefore, she can also not imagine that Micah has chosen to live with her of his own free will.

    Now it’s time to say goodbye to the daughter Cordelia has devoted all her attention to. What remains is an even greater emptiness.
    She shows the depth of her love for Hawthorn as she leaves her her only physical inheritance from her mother, namely her necklace.
    I really hope Hawthorn knows how to treasure that gift and carry it with dignity….. but I fear that right now she is more preoccupied with tasting blood than honorable behavior. 🙄

    Poor good naive Dandy who became a victim in Gemma’s web 💔
    Now he feels bad about himself because he called Hawthorn a child.

    Cordelia’s closing remarks make no sense. Love is not worth the pain … even if it was love that gave her Hawthorn.
    Happiness and pain are each other’s companions.

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    1. Yes, I’m afraid your prediction was quite accurate!

      Oh I love that quote, that’s beautiful! A very good rule to live by, definitely. They do say that you should forgive people for your own sake, not for theirs. I guess Cordelia didn’t get the memo.

      Yes, whenever it comes to Micah, Cordelia defaults to everything positive being a result of the love spell. No wonder that all she’s left with is the negative.

      Hawthorne leaving is not easy on her, yes. And you’re right, that necklace means a lot to Cordelia. We’ll see about Hawthorne!

      I know, poor Dandy. Breaks my heart.

      Happiness and pain are each other’s companions.

      Wise words! I wish WordPress had an Insightful button!

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  4. Damn, Cordelia. Just a shell of her former herself, spent of her ‘petty hopes and dreams’, hating everything. She doesn’t want Micah to leave, but maybe he should. Or maybe she should leave; she openly hates everyone around her, her surroundings. Perhaps an up-and-out would be beneficial.

    Hawthorne doesn’t want your plasma packs, Cordelia. She probably doesn’t even want your necklace. I mean there’s teen aloofness and there’s this. So you don’t know what she’s thinking? Let me help; “I’ll be dumping everything you’ve given me in the first available bin and hump-draining the nearest sap while fantasising about your friend.” She seems quite the entitled brat, but then again if her whole life has been watching this fudged up not-really-a-relationship mess at home, I guess she’s going to be shadowing Morgyn as an example of happiness and freedom.

    Gemma and her sugar-laced poison just earned a metaphorical kick in the bum. Look at Dandy’s lovely face. I can’t cope. Did Cordelia not notice that Hawthorne’s phoenix familiar is still in the glade? Probably not, wrapped up in her own misery and rage. What a mess.

    Random observation; Micah has had a lock on his chest the whole story and Cordelia has had a key. Hmm.

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    1. This is true, Cordelia tells Micah that he can finally have a reason to leave now, but arguably she is the one who’d have more of a reason to leave. The only thing the house and its location has going for her is its vicinity to Dandy, and she herself admits she doesn’t see him as often as she should anyway.

      LMAO. Yes, she probably is thinking precisely that.

      She seems quite the entitled brat, but then again if her whole life has been watching this fudged up not-really-a-relationship mess at home, I guess she’s going to be shadowing Morgyn as an example of happiness and freedom.

      That is a very good point.

      Oh I know, damn Gemma. She is not very high on my list of preferred characters, would you believe. Hard to say if Cordelia noticed Hawthorne’s familiar – she definitely didn’t react to it, or the sprites. Then again, Hawthorne’s point of not being able to casually stroll around the university campus with a huge phoenix following her is valid, so perhaps it’s not a surprise to Cordelia. Who knows, she might even be glad Hawthorne left it behind, she is not that fond of the familiar, with it being a gift from Morgyn and all.

      That is a very good observation! Too bad Cordelia gave the key away.

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  5. I have caught up! I’ve been reading on my phone at the bus stop and in bed.
    You have some AMAZING visuals. Also I have kind of hoped Cordelia would get over all those love spell nonsense and attempt to be happy with Micah… stupid woman.

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    1. Damn, you’ve been busy!

      Thank you! And that would have been a good idea, yes. If the love spell can’t be broken, it would make sense to try to make it work for you instead of insisting on going against it. But I guess some people are stubborn.

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  6. Okay, third attempt! WordPress keeps messing my comments up but I will win, damnit! xD

    Oh, Cordy. Looks like she completely fell to hatred and bitterness. She completely shaped her world around the sprites, then she completely shaped it around Morgyn, and now she’s done the same for Hawthorne. And now that Hawthorne is about to leave the nest… Cordelia has nothing left. She suddenly greatly reminds me of my own aunt. She was so focused on her children and doing everything for them that not only did she raise adults who were entitled and spoiled, but she ended up with nothing when they left. She’s one of the loneliest people I know.

    And she’s still stuck with Morgyn in her head. They separated before Hawthorne was even born, and the only contact they have now is through Hawthorne and indirectly via Micah. After all these years… the primary feeling there shouldn’t be hate. It should be indifference. Such a strong hate means that she’s been unable to let go for all this time. Poor Cordy.

    It’s so sad that Cordy thinks Hawthorne is fleeing from her home the same way she fled from Britechester. There’s a difference between running away and spreading your wings to be independent. Hawthorne has a lot to learn, but this is her chance for that. Cordelia giving her the necklace was very sweet. Ouch, but that good bye. “I love you” versus “you too” and quickly letting go. Is that just teenagers being teenagers, or is their relationship worse than we think? I wonder if Cordelia was an overbearing mother.

    This comment is turning into an essay so I’ll put my outrage about Dandy and Gemma on the forums lalalalala

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    1. Yay! Thank you for persevering, and sorry to hear WP gave you so much trouble!

      She completely shaped her world around the sprites, then she completely shaped it around Morgyn, and now she’s done the same for Hawthorne.

      That’s exactly what Cordelia had done, yes. This is definitely a pattern for her. That’s really sad to hear about your aunt! And yes, I can definitely see a resemblance there. I’m also glad you point out the effect this has on the children – Hawthorne’s attitudes definitely are heavily impacted by everything Morgyn instilled in her, but Cordelia making her life solely about being Hawthorne’s mother has definitely played a big role in Hawthorne being the way she is too. There’s a reason why in the last chapter, Hawthorne is only concerned about what Micah might think, not so much Cordelia.

      Yes. Cordelia is not very good at letting go. We’ve seen her still bear the memories of her childhood bullies, still thinking of the sprites as an issue when they no longer sought her out and had effectively moved on to Dandelion, now still hanging on to hate of Morgyn. Moving on his not her strong suit, clearly.

      I suppose it’s difficult for Cordelia to put herself in Hawthorne’s position. She never had a loving home, and was on her own from a young age, so moving out to seek independence is a completely alien concept to her. Hopefully that moment was just teenagers being teenagers and nothing more. Though Hawthorne did seem uncomfortable throughout the exchange.

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  7. Cordelia in her current state makes me sad. Sure, she had the tendency to shape herself around people rather than thinking for herself…but she used to have some life in her! She was bright and passionate and impulsive.

    I’m angry at Morgyn for getting everybody into this situation. And whatever’s brewing with Hawthorne cannot be good.

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    1. Phew, you really are a speed reader! It’s true that Cordelia definitely used to have a lot more vigour for life, yes. Whether she got here an unhealthy pattern of behaviour, by trying to beat an unbeatable spell or both is hard to say – and might not necessarily matter, given the end result. Morgyn’s definitely left a lot of wreckage behind. Though I think it’s up to the person to take responsibility of their own life. The continuous cycle of blaming Morgyn for everything will not do Cordelia much good getting out of her state.

      I doubt Hawthorne has much of a plan, haha. She’s a wild card!

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      1. Oh it’s definitely up to her to deal with her life, but Morgyn definitely started things. It’s her choice now though.

        I really hope Cordy chins up a bit, she seems depressed. Kind of numb. Seeing her in the glade with Dandy made me long for the early chapters where they were just running around and having fun.

        I don’t think Hawthorne has a plan – what I think is ‘brewing’ are her recklessness and self-absorption – traits from a certain godparent.

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        1. I agree!

          Those were the simpler times! I can definitely imagine that getting from how she was in the early chapters to where her head’s at now within a single afternoon (or whatever it is in your time zone!) is probably quite a bummer – sorry about that, oops!

          Luckily Hawthorne has everything under control and can handle everything, just like her godparent. Lol!

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  8. My heart breaks for Cory. She’s too worn out, and who could blame her. She’s been used and manipulated far too often, and then tossed aside like something disposable. Even Micah has picked Morgyn over her, and Emilia probably came far too late to seek her out, and thanks to her family, can’t make her open up anymore. And not even Hawthorne seems to care too much about her mother.
    It would have been better if Cory had found the courage to leave this town, at least after Hawthorne was born, maybe she would have had better luck somewhere else and finally find someone who’d love Cory the way she deserves.

    As for the eyecolor, Cory actually has quite a purplish shade too… is she part elf?

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    1. I think a lot of Cordelia’s current state is her own making, but I’m hard on her, I know 😆 I don’t know if I’d say Micah picked Morgyn over her, considering she insisted on not pursuing a relationship with him herself, and was even more stubborn about that than he was. Definitely a two way street there. Plus the last time we saw anything from Micah’s perspective was two time jumps ago. As for Hawthorne, she is a teenager and Cordelia is an overbearing mother, of course there’s going to be some friction there. Not sure if that necessarily means Hawthorne doesn’t care about her mother.

      You’re not the first person that suggested she should have moved. I have some thoughts about one parent packing up and moving the child far from the other, but regardless, I don’t think Cordelia really considered moving – we’ve seen her wanting to keep the house both when Morgyn broke things off with her and even now she seems to want to stay there. She’s already tried the whole turning a new slate and starting over elsewhere thing when she left Gibbs Hill at the beginning of the story, and that’s not worked out particularly well. I guess there’s only so many times one can keep running away and starting over.

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      1. Yes, I do think you’re hard on her.
        As we know, Cordelia has grown up without parents, lost her mother at a very young age, and never managed to find friends, on the contrary she was bullied. She did not have a stable home.
        If a child grows up in these circumstances, their brain wires differently than an average person’s. They’ll be more prone to doubt themselves, more needy for recognition and validation, and much more sensitive to rejection. They’ll try harder than anyone to please the people around them, and will always feel like they’re a bother to everyone.
        I can relate to her a lot xD
        So ofc now that Cory met a person like Morgyn (who def is very charismatic in a way) it’s an explosive combination where she could only lose. Matters worse, Morgyn’s lovespell also ruined that little bit of trust she had in her relationship to Micah 😏 I can even understand why she never really got to be a good friend with Emilia.
        I think you did a great job here writing her, it’s very realistic.

        As for Micah picked Morgyn over her, it’s not meant as an accusation, ofc he’s free to chose his romantic partner as he likes, but he chose one who he knew treated Cory very disposable. I have my own ideas about that, anyway xD we have seen that Micah does not even like Morgyn, on the contrary, he’s often appalled at how heartless Morgyn is. But give them a few minutes with Micah, and Micah is putter in Morgyn’s hands. Yes, Morgyn knows how to manipulate, and Micah may be as hungry for love and validation as Cory is, even if he may not be aware of it. Second, since he obv does think of Morgyn as a good person, he’s not affected by scruples if he’s “worthy” enough, as we have seen hinted when he was talking to Cory.

        I didn’t mean Hawthorne does not care v much about her mother, but they don’t seem to have a v cordial relationship. But then we have seen v little of her with her mother, compared to her and Micah, so who knows.

        No, Cory did not want to move, but I think it would have done her good. But then, I also think that Cory really needs a strong relationship at her side, a loyal friend who is not involved with everyone else, who could help her see her own worth.
        Moving far from one parent certainly is less than ideal, but I did not say she has to move far from Micah, just from Morgyn and ofc, all the other people in magic town that shun her. (I’d say even for Micah it may do some good to get away from Morgyn long enough 😏)
        Anyway, happy parents that are far away from each other are still a better environment for a child to grow up with, than unhappy parents that stay together, though ofc this was studied on parents that once had a romantic relationship and here it is a bit different XD
        Ugh, everything is too complex xD

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yay, a novel! 🙂

          I’m aware I’m hard on her. I don’t share her background, but she does have some of my traits that I’m not overly keen on. I’m not hating on her because she’s unrelatable to me, I’m hating on her because she is. Which is definitely irrational, especially since so many of these characters have a part of me in some way 🙂 Just to clarify, unlike Cordelia, I have two very loving parents and had a lovely childhood. But speaking of that, funnily enough, what you said about Cordelia losing her parents early, not having a stable home and being generally alone growing up could also be said about Morgyn, and I don’t see you bursting with compassion there 😀 😛 … Actually, most of the BC characters have tragic backstories. I really did a number on them, oops 😀

          I’d say your analysis of Micah is pretty accurate. A lot of his inner rhetoric has to do with what he thinks he deserves or is “worthy” of – his self-worth is so low he doesn’t really realise that those kinds of choices might actually have an impact on other people, like Cordelia. He’s definitely messed up in his own way, even though he’s more outwardly high-functioning than Cordelia.

          We haven’t seen that much of Cordelia and Hawthorne together, though I don’t think you’re wrong. Hawthorne probably feels like she has to walk on eggshells around Cordelia a lot, which is… not something that comes very naturally to her, lol.

          Throw in the fact that Morgyn is capable of teleporting halfway across the world as well, so physical vicinity to the magic realm portal is convenient, but not necessarily a be all and end all. And the parents who indeed have not and are not really “together” do feel subconsciously drawn to being near each other because of a love spell. It is one messy situation. I do agree that there could be a nicer community for them to live in then one where, err, the neighbours came kind of close to killing them, haha. But since Cordelia was shunned in Gibbs Hill already, she probably thinks it wouldn’t make that much of a difference, and this is as close to a home as she’s ever known long-term (beyond her very early childhood, I suppose). As for Micah, again, he could probably benefit from not having neighbours who want to bring out the pitchforks on all things vampirical, but I can’t see him wanting to move away from Sylvan Glade. You’re right, it’s all rather complicated!

          Thanks again for the essay 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I’m very aware that Morgyn had a similar background. And tbh, I can even relate to you “defending” Morgyn while criticizing Cory, I mean Morgyn has received a lot of backlash, while most people feel compassion for Cory. But we want all our characters be not judged but loved and understood the same, right? 😄

            I will try to explain my reasoning xD Cory had a hard childhood (we had quite a few glimpses), but she tried to make the best out of it, be happy and be kind to everyone. She does not judge or takes advantage or other people. And her original intention to start over, be happy and even her ambition to make what she needs on her own, and be proud of it- it’s very admirable.
            In the end she is the one that gets hurt. But she does not try to hurt back or tries to take revenge. She pulls back and hurts by herself, while still trying her best to function for her daughter. Yes, she did have a few outbreaks, but man, she’s human too.
            She’s soft and weak and appeals to all my protective instincts 😂

            Morgyn- well. Yeah, they had a hard childhood too, I suppose, we didn’t see anything but that they burned the house down, but that must have done a number on them. But they turn their ambition to succeed and be happy in life into a weapon. They walk over everything and everyone that is in their way, with very little disregard of the damage they are causing, as long as they get what they want. If they were born psychopathic, they could not help the absence of empathy, I suppose, they’d never understand. But you said they *are* capable of remorse. Looks like they worked hard to destroy it- can’t really blame them, remorse hurts, but if you turn yourself to be loveless, they can’t expect others to love them either.
            One might say they’re strong, but I can’t feel for them, as much as I can understand them.

            TL;DR, Cory is the one that gets hurt, Morgyn is the one that hurts others with little regard.

            Like

            1. Haha, oh I always do that, if a character is getting criticised I tend to want to defend them and equally if another one is being seen as infallible I like to point out their weaknesses. I strive for balance, it’s the libra in me 😀 I don’t necessarily expect people to love Morgyn – they’re not easy to love, haha. And the story naturally skews towards Cordelia, because you experience most of it through her eyes, so it’s only natural. It’s definitely been set up in a way where you know the most about her and others are somewhat shrouded in mystery and we learn more about them as we go.

              You are right of course. There are similarities in their backstories, with a few variables thrown in there, including how they may have dealt with things going from there – which may in part be influenced by the fact that Cordelia’s mother, while she was alive, was a reasonably attentive parent to her as far as we can tell, while Morgyn’s home was always toxic and abusive. But you’re right that it doesn’t matter too much when it comes to what the outcome is and what they put out into the world as a result. I do think about why all of these guys act the way they do, so I always have a reasoning behind it, but that doesn’t mean I see it as an excuse or justification of said behaviour 🙂

              Morgyn was not born without empathy, which is probably all I can tell you at this point. There’s a bit more at play but we haven’t gotten to that part yet. But even when we do, it’s likely you will still not feel for them – as you say Morgyn themself strives not to feel for others, so why would you feel for them? I think your feelings are perfectly justified.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Hehe, I totally understand you, I tend to react the same 😀

                It’s clear that you put a lot of thought into your characters, how they act and react, and it shows in your story. Sometimes it is hard to digest, but your work is admirable.

                Liked by 1 person

  9. Funny how this whole story started out being about the sprites but we hardly even see them anymore. Life just happened and now other things are more important. Still I wonder if Cordelia will ever find out what really happened to her mother.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, Cordelia technically stopped paying the sprites attention as soon as Dandy sort of took them off her hands, though she still claimed they’re a problem that needs rectifying and used them as an excuse to go for her Selvadorada excursion even though they were not even really pursuing her much anymore.

      I wonder if she’ll find out too!

      Liked by 1 person

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